Disclaimer: Wearing pants is my own personal choice. I don’t wish to impose my lifestyle on those
around me. This is me and it’s who I am!
Many people have never asked me why I wear pants. Is it because if I didn’t, people would think
lustful thoughts after me? Probably
not. Actually, most definitely not. I got enough objections sporting bike shorts
over the summer for some reason (please see previous post). The reason I wear pants wasn’t a recent decision
I made; in fact, that choice stems back many years ago.
When you’re
a baby, everyone thinks it’s just the cutest thing to see a naked baby and play
with the rolls on your legs. Unless you’re
one of those parents that buys miniature suits and Nikes for their baby (which
I think is almost as bad as people who dress up their pets. Dogs aren’t meant to wear booties and
sweaters!)) The cute, naked phase
continues for the next few years. Like
when neighbors think it’s adorable when the naked kid from next door shows up
unannounced (Awww!).
It’s
once you reach elementary school age that people start giving you queer looks
when you walk around in the buck (exceptions for this include children in
third-world countries, who can push 11 or 12).
That’s the point when your parents sit you down to have the talk. You know, the one that explains why public
nudity is unacceptable (at least in our area).
You know that talk, right? You
may have heard it differently, but the gist is the same.
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| Me wearing pants, while riding a horse, while throwing a javelin |
Pants
started to grow on me throughout the years.
I gained a sense of their necessity at such times such as that
adolescent “pantsing” phase in Jr. High, trying to turn them into a flotation
device in the public pool for the swimming merit badge (absolutely useless), and
having them rip right off while performing dance moves similar to jumping jacks
for a bunch of kids. These experiences
have helped to develop me. I suppose I
also live in fear that if I went on campus without pants, I run the risk of
someone (not even gender specific) hand me a note quietly that explains how
uncomfortable I am making them feel due to my lack of Bermudas. Oddly enough that only happens with women
here at BYU, something about skirts and leggings. But no one ever gets after those dang male
hipsters (not to be confused with male strippers) for wearing their fashionably
short cut-offs. I affectionately refer
to them as Ne-hors (anyone get that reference).
The
final straw came two weeks ago while I was bowling among friends. I had just broken 100 and was feeling pretty
good (whether that was on my 9th frame or not is irrelevant). The 10th frame I was walking back
down to my seat and felt a slight draft down below. I realized my pants had split right down the
middle. COME ON!! Bowling isn’t even a
strenuous sport. We played one more game
and I realized the draft was throwing off my game terribly, I ended with a
score less than 50. I realized that
pants are not only essential to a good game of bowling, but in life. You can’t get a good job if you’re not
wearing pants. Common sense.
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| Me wearing shorts, another version of pants |
The reason I wear pants is a personal one; it is different
for each person. Not everyone will agree
with me, but let me know what your stance is!
I wear pants mostly. I agree with the majority of your argument except for the bowling.
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